The Boy Smiles
by XxMoonlightGoddessxX
Summary: This is my first fanfic. I changed the title because I changed the story. When one of the loft goers commits suicide what will happen to the others and how will they go on without the very person that kept together? Chapetr 8 UP!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own any of the RENT characters. Though I wish I did. This is my first fanfiction. So thanx for reading and Plz review.

Angel hated this part of the day. When she was alone and had no one to lean on. No strong arm to hold on to. But what she couldn't stand the most were the stares. The judgemental looks of so called "normal people". As she looked in the mirror she chose to not dress up today. She really didn't feel good. She was only going for a walk in the park. She checked the outside weather and saw the snowy ground. She put on a pair of warm, corduroy overalls and a deep red turtleneck. She should still look fashionable, even if she wasn't dressed comfortably. She snuck into Collins' closet and looked at his choice of shoes. They were so pathetic! None the less, she took a pair of black boots and headed for the door. "My baby wont mind", Angel thought as she fumbled with the door handle.

The outside winds sent a terrible chill through her and made her shiver. What she wanted more than anything right now were Collins' strong arms wrapped tight around her. She detested how long Collins had to work. As she neared the park she saw a curly mass of faded brown hair. A girl, she thought. She couldn't see her face because her head was in her hands and she was shaking. She walked closer and recognized her. "Mimi, honey, why are you crying out here all alone?" Angel knew it had something to do with Roger. As much as she loved that boy sometimes she just wanted to smack him. The girl looked up and scooted closer to her. Yep. It was Mimi. No matter what was happening she always had top make body contact. She opened his arms and she fell against him.

Angel didn't expect to feel like this with her. She felt like an older sister to her. Trying to protect her. Mimi's faint whisper of a voice broke her thoughts. "We fought again and...he kicked me out." She said trying to hold back another breakdown. "Oh, Mimi, your always welcome to stay with Collins and I", She loved Mimi so much. Not like she loved Collins but like her sister. Mimi may be a stripper and an ex-junkie, thanks to Angel, but she had this weird, innocently yet wise quality about her. She was like a child that needed love, attention and mostly a pair of sisterly arms to pick her up and take her shoppingwhen she was down. "Really?"She said with those adorable pleading eyes. Angel gave Mimi a big smile. "No, Mimi, your never ever allowed to stay with us because we both completely and utterly detest you."

They both began laughing as the so called "normal" people stared at them and rolled their eyes.

What did they expect to see in _New York?_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Just to inform you all, there is no Angel/Mimi relationship. That's just wrong. It may sound like it but I promise you, I'd never do that. Thanks for reading. Review if you wish.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you", Mimi said as she walked through the doorway and into Collins and

Angel's house. "It's okay hun", Angel said now comfortably in her favorite skirt and zebra-stripped leggings.

Mimi began setting up her stuff on the sofa. Angel couldn't help but stare at Mimi. She was so adorable and

Angel wanted to look like her. Petite body and breath taking bone structure. She couldn't even think about her

perfect never-frizzes-no-matter-what hair. A car door slamming broke Angel out of her thoughts. Angel literally

sprinted to the door. She threw the door open and lunged at Collins. Angel missed him so much when he was

working all those hours.

Mimi watched in longing as Collins spun Angel round and round. She missed Roger so much her heart broke

just thinking of him. Her body ached for his strong embrace. She longed to look into his flawless green eyes that

always made her problems disappear. But the one thing she missed the most were those three words "I love

you" that made her realize that it was all worth it. Even the god forsaken vinyl pants.

" Collins, honey, Mimi is gonna stay with us for a little bit;" Angel said giving Collins the he-kicked-her-out-

again look. "Of course, Meems your always welcome with us." Collins turned and looked at Mimi.

And Mimi silently wished that Roger could be a_ little_ more like Collins.

A/N: Sorry about the short chapter. And if you haven't already guessed, this isn't a one-shot. :)

Thanx for all of your reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Chapter four and up coming soon :)

A hoarse coughing woke Mimi. At first she thought it was Roger. But then she remembered that they were no longer "together". The room was pitch black and Mimi bumped into a table or two before she finally made it to the bathroom. She stood near the door and heard something that sounded like a muffled cough. She tapped on the door, already knowing that something was wrong. When no one answered she brought it upon herself to open the door. A sense of panic shot through Mimi as she stood in shock over Collins.

The strong, fatherly man that she knew was no longer there and he was replaced by a pale, sickly looking man, shaking violently and coughing blood. "Oh...my...ANGEL!", Mimi screamed with tears burning her eyes. Within seconds Angel sprawled over her lover as Mimi called the ambulance. She never thought Collins, the high-spirited, loving, caring, father-she-never-had, would ever get sick. Just like any child looked at their father as their hero, Mimi looked at Collins as her hero. She never thought she would have to hold his hand and comfort him as he lie in the hospital bed near death.

The ambulance took Collins away and Angel began to get dressed. So many thoughts were going through her head. _This is not happening. Not my Collins._ Angel thought as tears poured out of her eyes. Her worst fears had become this terrible reality. "No", was the only thing she could say.

She and Mimi ran down the street towards the loft. Angel could tell that Mimi was iffy about going back but she knew that Mimi did it for Collins. "Meems", Angel said breathless. "Hm", Mimi managed in between breaths. " Thanks for...you know"."Angel, if I could count how many times you and Collins helped me," Mimi began. Angel interrupted her. "I know and we do it because we love you. Its just that". She looked at Mimi and stopped. Gut wrenching sobs shook her body in Mimi's small fragile arms. "I'm scared."

Mimi's POV

I never thought I would see Angel like this. Her usually joyous eyes were red from crying and her normal confident stance was gone, replaced by a shaking curled-up mess. I helped her make it to the loft and knocked. I never knocked before but I don't think I'm welcome to waltz in anymore. I hear footsteps walk to the door. Sluggish and dragged out. Roger. "Open the damn door!" That came out worse than I meant it to. Roger opened the door looking furious, not that I can blame him. But his face changed when he saw Angel. He quickly helped me to pick Angel up and sat her on the sofa. Roger looked at me, "What happened", he was really nervous. I didn't know if I could say it. "Collins is in the hospital", I said before collapsing against Angel and crying harder than ever.

A/N: Sorry about the sad chapter but it gets better...not in chapter 4 but soon! Thanx for reading and reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. If you have anything you'd like to see happen feel free to tell me. Again thanx for all of you reviews. Born2bBad- Your story rocks. L.M.Ward- I agree A straight Collins would be every girls dream. And that's why he's gay! That's Poetic and IDontOwnEmotion- Thanx you guys are awesome!


	4. Chapter 4

Wow! Chapter four already. Thanx for your reviews.

Without You19- I very well know that Angel is a man but I chose to address Angel as a girl because as a diehard RENT fan I know that Angel would have preferred to be called she. Thanx for reading though! Now on with the Fic...

Chapter Four

Angel's head spun as she walked through the doors of the East Village Hospital. He mind tried to place the events of the night together. No matter how many times she tried to make sense of it, her heart refused to accept. What could have happened? He was healthy and she'd made sure he took his AZT every morning. Her body shook and her eyes were bloodshot from tears.

ROGER POV

Can it really take 10 minutes to ruin someone's life? Can one sentence really destroy people?

Fuck yeah. All it took was one sentence from Mimi to make me forget whatever I was thinking about or whining about. "Collins is in the hospital." Truthfully I have NEVER seen Angel look this way. Her body is shaking and she hold his coat around her for dear life. Wrong expression. Well Mimi and I are not fighting anymore. I holding her and she sobbing into my shirt. I cant believe this. My entire life I refused to step foot in a hospital and now I sitting in the waiting room, desperately wanting to see Collins.. He could remember going to high school with Collins

well not really going but skipping. Collins was always able to skip. He had perfect grades. Freaking genius.

A nurse walked over to them and told them that they could visit Collins. Roger almost dropped Mimi while standing up. Once they arrived in front of Collins' hospital room, they all gathered themselves together.

Collins' sweet brown eyes were glazed over and when he saw them he smiled. He had tubes all over his face and the doctor began to remove his oxygen mask. "Hello gorgeous", he whispered to Angel. Angel rushed to his side and put her arms around him. Collins, as always, kept his happy smile on and scooted over as Angel crawled in bed with him.

Roger and Mimi smiled when they saw Angel's face glow once again. At least they could have a Fairy Tale ending.

A/N: Thanx for everything. I know I say that a lot but I really mean it. I love to hear your comments good or bad. They motivate me. This is not the last chapter and it gets REALLY sad and angst-y from here. So keep r&r. Love ya! Moonlight Goddess


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry about the wait! I was hit by the hurricane and my powers been out but I had a lot of time to write chapters 5-9. I know I promised more angst but this chapter is purely FLUFF! So Here it is! Enjoy and keep reviewing!

Chapter Five

Despite his current condition, Collins felt happy again. He turned his head to look at his beautiful Angel. She clung to his chest, sleeping. She was his life. His first thought in the morning and his last thought before bed. She brought him as well as others so much joy. She defined living. He would have never made it though today without her. He felt her cuddle closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you, God, for sending me the Angel I prayed for," he whispered as his eyes slowly closed.

Mimi and Roger stood in the doorway silently watching them.

"They're so perfect together", Mimi said with tears in her eyes. Not sad tears, they were more like maybe-love-still-does-exist tears.

"Yeah", Roger said wiping the tears from his face. "Meems?"

"MmHm"

"I should tell you...", Roger said with a slight smirk.

Mimi couldn't help but laugh.

"Rog?"

"MmHm"

"I love you", Mimi said lifting her head to look into his mesmerizing emerald eyes.

Roger lifted Mimi in his arms as they kissed.

They kissed, letting go of the past.

Past Fights.

Past Anger.

Past Fear.

They kissed , welcoming in a sense of new.

New Love.

New Happiness.

New Beginnings.


	6. Chapter 6

1A/N: CAUTION You are now entering extremely angst-y and depressing chapters. Those with low tolerance should stop reading now. I promised angst so here you go! I really hate myself for writing these chapters.. My poor baby! Author cries uncontrollably for hurting her favorite character Wink wink So enjoy and keep your Kleenex near.

Chapter Six

2:00 pm

As they exited the East Village Hospital; Roger, Collins, Angel and Mimi felt a sense of relief settle over them. The past two days had been nightmare and they finally woke up.

" I've got an idea! Lets go party at the loft", Roger announced breaking the calming silence.

"Wow, Roger finally thinks" , Mimi said sarcastically for which she received a playful nudge.

"Okay, Rog, you get the booze and I'll..", he said as he lifted Angel and Mimi, " Get the chicks!"

"Thomas B. Collins, you put me down this instant. I cant believe you, just getting out of the hospital and picking up not one but two women", Angel said laughing.

"Technically Ang...", Collins trailed off.

"Shut up you", Angel said with false anger trying desperately not to laugh.

All four began happily walking to the loft.

4:00 pm

The old hinges of the loft door squeaked as Roger opened it and the others stepped inside. The loft was quiet and the silence unnerved them.

"Mark", Roger called into the empty loft. His echo was his only answer.

"He's probably out filming", Mimi said as she walked into the kitchen and set down the bags of foods they had bought earlier. With Angel's money of course.

The mood began to lighten again so Angel and Mimi began to make dinner. Collins set the table and helped cook. Things felt normal again. But somehow Roger couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

4:35 pm

"Wow...how long has it been since we all sat together like this", Collins laughed.

"Too long", Roger said.

"Well I'm gonna be the moment ruiner 'cause I really gotta pee," Mimi said as everyone else laughed.

"Must you be so vulgar"

"Hello..I'm an exotic dancer", Mimi said sending them all into hysterical laughter.

Mimi made her way to the bathroom and dinner went on. No more than 30 seconds later they heard and ear piercing screech. "Roger!"

Roger POV

I knew it, Roger thought to himself, I knew that we couldn't be happy for more than five goddamn seconds.

He prayed to the God that he'd never truly believed in until Mimi, of course, that she was okay. He didn't know what he'd do without her. Please, God, let her be okay. When he reached the bathroom door he saw why Mimi had screamed and stopped breathing. He couldn't believe what he saw. He shook his head in disbelief.

A/N: Don't cha just hate when us authors do that? But I couldn't help it! The drama goes on and you'll all probably hate me but that's okay because in the end you'll change your mind I PROMISE! I wrote myself into a corner that's why I had to change the story plz don't get mad!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This chapter made me almost cry...so if you almost cry please know that your not alone. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter Seven

Roger POV

How could this happen? Just this morning he was smiling and joking and now he's lying on the

floor. My best friend. The man who preached to others about living life and how bad suicide

was. "You fuckin' hypocrite."

The sirens sounded too eerily familiar to Roger. The loud car alarm like sounds still made his

eyes sting and bile rise to his throat. "Why Mark? How Mark? How in the world did I walk into

my bathroom today and find my best friend lying on the fucking floor with track fucking marks

in his arms?" That was all Roger could think as he sat in the back of the ambulance, holding

Mark's cold hand. _Please don't die, Mark, Please._

In The Hospital 10:00 pm

Mimi watched Roger desperately begging on his knees for Mark not to die. She could hear him

saying " Please God, don't let Mark die. You can have my life but please don't take him." It

broke her heart to see Roger like that. She knew Roger and Mark were best friends but she hadn't

realized how much Roger really needed Mark. They were like brothers. Seeing Roger losing his

best friend, brother and life support brought warm, wet tears to her eyes.

A/N: Will Mark live? Will Roger ever be happy? Where are Angel and Collins? Why the hell isn't Mark in the ER? When will I get over my crappy writers block? Will they loose they're dignity? Sry couldn't resist! Answers in the following chapters...well not to my evil, persistent writers block...anwayz thanx for reading and I love all of you! Sry about the short chapter...once again evil writers block!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well my writers block went away! Sry it took me so long...but I had school and stuff. But I'm back with chapter 8!

They cop's later found out that Mark didn't commit suicide. He was violently killed and his killer was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parol. Thanks to Joanne. But even that couldn't settle the mind-numbing pain that everyone felt without him.

Mimi's POV

My whole life I've preached about living without regret and living each day as my last. Now, as I stand up and walk to the podium beside Mark's grave, I feel pain and confusion run through my body. How could someone so sweet and who had the ability to make a difference just die like that? How could healthy, happy Mark die before me or Roger? Before any of us...

My hands shake the paper so violently that I just put it down. Mark hated when people read from a script. Putting down my paper, I walk in front of the podium. I take a deep breath and begin.

"To the world, you might be one person. But to one person, you may be the world."

Tears sting my eyes but I continue on.

" We all loved Mark. Who couldn't? He was the shoulder to lean on. He was the hand to hold. He was the giving, loving man who never put himself first. He always wanted to send a message to the world. He wanted, so badly, to show the world what real life was like. And for that, I respect him. More than anyone."

"My first memory of Mark is one you guys probably don't know. I was about 16 and he was 21, I think. I was working at the Cat Scratch...dancing. I noticed Mark because he was the only guy not drooling over me. Yeah. He was staring but not at my body. He was the only guy in the whole club, who looked me in the eyes. He looked at me and his eyes showed compassion. It made me cry. Finally, someone cared."

They all look at me, their eyes telling me it's okay.

" That night he walked me home and we talked. I don't even think we went to my apartment. We walked through the park and we talked for hours. I didn't know why this guy I just met felt so much like...my best friend that I'd known for years. It was cold that night and he saw that I was shivering. He took off his jacket, even though it was ungodly icy, and put it on my shoulders. I asked him why he cared so much for a stranger. He tuned his head down to face me and said "If I didn't care about tonight, who would?" He wiped away my tears and I realized that I finally met him. My best friend."

A/N: There's more funeral monologues to come. And How I got the idea of Mark and Mimi meeting before RENT was from the line in Christmas Bells where Mark says "I think we've met" so yeah...Thanx for reading and once again sry that I took so long to post. Ciao:)


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